A Timelord's Sorrow
by jankajow
Summary: A Timelord's soul is not one to be broken - The Doctor may not realise it, but more than just his happiness rests on his shoulders... A Doctor Who Fanfiction set directly after "The Angels Take Manhattan", it tells the story of how The Doctor coped with his losses whilst trying to forgive the universe for its' harshness.


With one glance into her best friend's eyes she was consumed into the grasp of the angel, sent far away to a place where even the Doctor could not retrieve her from.  
The timelord crumbled to the ground, his long fingers clenched around his face; letting a single tear of remorse drop into the mud beneath him, "I hate endings…" the wise man mouthed, repeating himself and taking his mind back to time that seemed so far away – when he had hoped that the universe would save him from this terrible fate.  
The Doctor looked up from his knees and turned to glimpse the T.A.R.D.I.S awaiting his return – normally the sight of his loyal ship would have washed away the horrors of the days and nights; but this time its' doors were tinted with the colours of sorrow and grief, not unlike the image of himself – a lonesome figure, merging into the background of the graveyard, endlessly and unforgivingly cursing the universe for the pain it had caused him.

Amongst the drama of it all, River Song had managed to regain some sort of inner strength and was able to drag herself back into the time machine, where she proceeded to slouch upon a chair and rub away her own tears, 'Never let him see your pain…' she thought, trying to lock up her emotions, as she had done so many times for him… it was necessary, otherwise he would never recover.  
River coughed – getting up from the seat, and steadily pacing herself towards the dim blue doors, "Doctor…" she spoke calmly, as if nothing had happened between them.  
The Timelord arose from his mourning and picked a single daisy from the ground around him, placing it gently in front of a tombstone that read:  
'Rory and Amelia Williams, 00000 – 00000'  
The Doctor smiled faintly; even this rewritten timeline couldn't pinpoint their existence, "Come along ponds…" he finished off, as if he was drawing a line between himself and the event that had just played out in front of him – this was his final goodbye.

The couple walked solemnly back to the T.A.R.D.I.S' control panel, River took to the steering, and began to plot out the co-ordinates on the GUI – The Doctor did not object, he was too deep in his own thoughts for it to bother him.

The ground beneath them shook, "Easy…." River stroked the machinery, in return the T.A.R.D.I.S moaned once more, whispering undefined sounds into the air, like fireflies dancing around an intergalactic fayre – the murmurs whisked past River, seeking out the one man to whom they were devoted to.  
"She is trying to talk to you..." River interrupted, her eyes glimmering with the sheen of lost tears.  
The Doctor looked up, anger amidst his expression, and the faint glows of depression dimming his eyes and consuming his cheeks.  
He sighed, watching the specs of sound whir around his head – it was a comforting sound, it reminded him of the old days, long gone now, when he used to be carefree; going off on adventures and watching time fly by behind him, "Have you ever woken up from a dream, and seen the light slip away beneath your covers?"  
River turned, puzzled by his words – she could sense the emptiness in his voice, and replied vaguely, "Yes, dear."  
"You're lying."  
"I know…" She exhaled, "But your world is a blur to me. You think too much, Doctor."  
The frustration in The Doctor's eyes swelled, filling up the crevices of his emotions, before dimming down again into a controllable flame, "I couldn't have stopped this."  
"I know."  
"But I could have tried!" the anger poured out of him again, like a blazing inferno, seeping into his two hearts and exploding within his soul. He flung a single hand onto his collar, and ripped his bowtie off, throwing it into the console, watching it slide past the buttons and levers before falling limp on the floor – for a brief moment, he wished it was him.


End file.
